Part One

Xander gazed at the ceiling, his eyes drooped and finally closed ...but sleep eluded him. His brain swam in an alcoholic haze but he still remained enveloped in pain and self-loathing. He had said goodbye to his chance for wedded bliss. The reasons seemed pathetic now ...but the words had been spoken and he couldn't take them back ...even if he knew how.

Willow lay sprawled across the cover, her head turned towards her friend...she felt awful for Xander, like somehow this was her fault... no matter how silly that thought was. Her eyes flickered over his face ...his eyes shut tight as his body radiated tension and disgust. Sighing she closed her own eyes. She tried to think of something reassuring to say to her childhood friend but nothing came to her.

" Will ... I'm going to leave ? "

Her eyes sprung open " You don't have to go ... stay here tonight ...we can talk or we can just lie here ...being alone isn't good ...things...things will seem better in the morning "

Xander dragged himself up till he sat on the edge of the bed , he hugged his arms around his knees and stared intently at the carpet.

" Things won't be better in the morning ...things won't be right while I'm still here " he sighed.

Willow tried to reach for him but Xander flinched from her touch and shot off the bed . Willow couldn't help but be hurt by his rejection, but that sting was nothing compared to the alarm of suddenly realizing what he meant . She stared up at him and he nodded when he recognized that she understood what he was about to say .

" I have to go, I don't ... "

" NO !! " she interrupted , suddenly angry. He couldn't leave. " No! You can't run away from this "

Xander couldn't face Willows scorn , he turned from her and walked out of the room . She sprung off the bed after him . Xander quickly slid down the stairs his friend at his heels .

" No ...no no no...wait Xander...please...wait ...explain this to me ? "

Xander hesitated at the front door, hand gripping the handle tightly. " I'm sorry Willow ... I need time to think and a change of scenery ...I'll umm, call you when I've sorted myself out " and without even turning to look at her he threw the door open , running out into the night.

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Part Two

Xander kept running till he came to the edge of town ...damn Sunnydale was small. It was this very 'smallness' that he was running away from. Oh that and he had just managed to piss off an ex-vengeance demon. Xander stood gazing at the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign ...his life was such a mess. What the hell was he doing ? Leaving the only place he had ever known, the only friends -his family- that ever cared for him.

Closing his eyes he blocked out the swirling colours of the lights of home , turning his back on everything he had ever known he walked determinedly out into complete darkness and let it embrace him. Xander loved them, but he couldn't stay in that town any longer, his tears soaked into the collar of his tux and a shiver ran down his back.

Every step away from the familiar was painful but he forced himself to make another and another. Hours passed and his legs were numb from the constant vigilance of placing one foot in front of the other ...no questions- just to keep moving. No thinking- just plodding onwards... that was his only goal, not even exhaustion was going to hinder him unless of course he fell on his face, only then would he be compelled to stop.

Eventually the sun began to penetrate the blackness and the world came back to life ...this knocked Xander out of his self-imposed trance and he tripped . Floundering as his vision tilted and just what he had done to the women he loved came rushing back to torture him. His cowardice ...the shame and the agony . He threw himself onto the road shaking as he screamed into the empty countryside.

He lay there shaking violently, his face pressed sharply into cold surface of endless road. He  concentrated on the slight rustle of the wind through the grass , he could smell earth, as fine green shoots pushed through their final core to taste the sunlight upon their skin. How it must feel to be reborn ...the sensation of everything anew, to only know what is here and now . Xander wished for that ... he longed to be ignorant ...to start again.

Rising to his feet Xander lifted his face towards the sun and let it warm his skin and recharge his body. A distant rumble disturbed the air and he turned towards the horizon, he squinted at the dark shape hurtling towards him.  He waited till the truck was upon him before stepping out into its path.

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Part Three

A screech of brakes and hail of stones flung themselves across the road as the truck came to a stand still inches from Xander ...his arms wrapped around his middle ...eyes wide but unflinching.

The drivers side door squealed as it flung open, the crunch of stones under foot as someone stomped towards him.

" What do you think you're ........ Xander? "

Xander cupped a hand to his forehead so he could see who it was, the sun blazed behind them . It was one of Anya's demon friends, a guest at his wedding, the wedding he had walked out on, he was about to be squished like a bug.

" Xander ...where do you think you're going? "

" I don't know ... just walking " he shrugged , waiting for the squishing to commence.

" Want a ride instead "

Xander sighed " Look I know, I deserve every bit of ass whipping that you can think up ...but I'd rather you dispense with the 'whooping' and not draw this out with any games "

All he received was a blank stare ...well what he guessed was a blank stare , perhaps it was an evil grin, he had no idea. Then the demon frowned -damn- he was really in trouble now .  Xander unconsciously stepped back .

The demon came forward shaking his head " Oh no ...Xander I wouldn't hurt you , besides you seem to be hurting enough anyway ". Xander watched as the demons expression changed to that of pity and he knew he hadn't read anything wrong. 'Pity' was about as desired as 'scorn' but at least it didn't get him dead. Although he was disgusted with himself dying was not something he wanted to pursue.

" I won't judge your decision , I'm sure you had your reasons ... just offering a ride " he indicated his truck " come " he beckoned and wandered back to his vehicle leaving Xander to stare after him. A moments hesitation and Xander jumped in the passenger seat , turning towards the man he whispered " Thank you " . The demon then turned and smiled at him     " Your welcome " as he turned over the engine , backing up onto the road and they were off ...away from Sunnydale ...away from the past.

Xander turned towards his friend " Uhh where are you going exactly ?"

The demon glanced over at him for a moment before returning to the road " I have some business in L.A . Can you make your way from there? "

Xander grinned at his reflection in the windscreen glass " Yes that would be fine , I know some people in L.A "

Okay so maybe he wasn't going to be running away from the past after all.

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Part Four

It didn't take long till  he was being dropped off outside the bus station in L.A ...saying his 'goodbyes' to Thrip - he hoped he had pronounced his name correctly , it was the demon languages and wrapping your tongue around all those vowels that threw him every time. Now here he was in L.A without a clue where to go. When Thrip had mentioned L.A he instantly thought 'Angel' ...but there was one important piece of information that he had forgotten - he hadn't a clue where he lived.

It was a big city and it wasn't like he could ask around for him exactly. No, Angel the Dark Avenger , hiding in corners before jumping out to rescue the maidens in distress ...then flouncing away like a ...

Xander shook his head vigorously, he had spent far too much time around Spike ... the man was rubbing off on him ... now that was a disturbing thought.

He did remember that Buffy had mentioned Angel living in an old abandoned hotel ...the name eluded him but how many abandoned hotels could there be in L.A.?

It took him the rest of the day but it turned out there was quite a lot actually...just his luck.

Xander gave up after finally finding the eighth hotel on his list. It was infested with rats and had a questionable funky smell coming from the lobby office. Backing out of there quickly it didn't take him long to realize he was surrounded.

With his back up against the heavy brass doors of the main entrance he gulped and stared back at the pack of vampires sprawled all over the stone steps. They were so damn arrogant just sitting there casually picking there fingernails with their fangs. It was that same vampire who licked his lips and grinned at him lasciviously. Then he growled softly and the rest of them imitated all jumping to their feet and sliding closer to Xander.

Oh yeah , this was not his day. Eaten by vampires , it was pretty close to how he always thought it would go down , his death, but for some reason he always thought it would be Spike, who would eventually do the deed . Not like there was any splinters of wood handy ...perhaps this was his punishment for being such a bastard to Anya.

The first vampire to pounce on him was Mr. 'grinny pick me nails with me teeth' . His fangs sliced into Xander's shoulder with such cool precision it was almost erotic . The second bite was on his thigh and the sting of flesh parting so easily under that mouth had him staggering against the assault. Cool arms around his hips kept him upright as the sound of purring and sucking surrounded him. His vision was becoming blurry when he opened them again to watch a third vampire going for his throat .

There was a scream and it wasn't from him, then it seemed to be snowing , he was disoriented and was vaguely aware that the vampires were one by one disappearing and there was all this snow, but his brain couldn't sort through this new information. Xander blinked furiously trying to hold onto consciousness. Images of a black coat swirling through his mind , a scream of pure agony then snow ...no, it was ash ...vampires gone bye bye ... leather coat came near him and he managed to hoarsely cry " Angel ? " .

The leather coat came attached to a face but it wasn't 'deadboy' . His head swam as he frowned " Wesley??" he gasped with a shallow drawn out breath. Another face came into view but before he could respond his body shut down and he passed out.

" Oh god ...is he going to live " cried Cordy her fingers frantically combing back his hair from the blood staining his face. Wesley lifted him up into his arms with the help of Gunn and they retreated down the steps and into a convertible parked on the curb.

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Part Five

Xander woke up in the hospital with a start, he had been dreaming about Anya still wearing  her wedding dress , standing at a smoking cauldron tossing popcorn into the swirling centre. Buffy, Willow and Dawn were behind her softly chanting something he couldn't understand . It was their grisly expressions that had shaken him from the dream ...their eyes completely black , their skin taut against the bones of their faces and if he had been able to actually touch them, he was sure they would crumble under his fingertips like ancient yellowed paper.

Xander gazed at the ceiling , letting the whirl of the fan and the low drone of the florescent lighting calm his wildly beating heart. When his brain started to function again he remembered that he had been saved from being a vamp snack by Wesley and Cordy. Turning his head away from the comforting light he sought out his rescuers.

Sitting in a corner by the door was a guy he didn't recognize and the man wasn't even looking at him. He had a room to himself so he guessed the guy knew Cordy ...with effort he leaned forward, trying to shuffle his butt higher up the bed so that he could sit against the pillow for support. The man flew out of his chair to help, when he looked up from his book and noticed Xander was awake and in a great deal of pain.

" Man... I'm sorry , didn't know you were up " and he reached his hand around Xander's waist to haul him up against the pillow before immediately backing off a distance. " I'm Gunn ...ahh Charles Gunn I work for Wesley " .

Xander nodded his understanding as he hissed under his breath at the agony shooting up his leg and through his shoulder. Oh god this was delightful he was alive but he wished he was dead. He winced at Charles before whispering " Sorry ...Charles its nice to meet you ...I'm just feeling a bit like a human pincushion you'll have to excuse me if I cuss the walls down "
and he screamed bloody murder when his bitten shoulder hit the soft pillow " Fucking assholes I could stake there friggin ash again just for extra measure " .

Instantly Gunn was at his side again and he felt like a wuss but it jolly well hurt, damn them. He could see Gunn was suppressing his laughter ... the cheek of him, but he couldn't help but smile, he was going to like this man. Not that he was the worlds best judge of character by any standard...but he had a feeling he was right this time. Xander didn't have much time to think about that before the door thumped against the wall and his arms were full with an exuberantly happy ex . Xander restrained from cursing to much before Cordy jumped off him apologizing profusely, concern reflected on her face and she had been obviously crying. He was touched that she still cared and he felt more of a heel because of it. My relationships with women never turn out very well...perhaps there was a deeper meaning there somewhere.

Wesley appeared behind Gunn and he felt strangely at peace seeing him again. How strange that he had thought it was Angel last night that had rescued him. Wesley had changed , he seemed more comfortable within his own skin now ...not like when he had come to Sunnydale full of arrogance and aloofness, he had instantly gotten on all their bad sides with his fresh from the watcher school no nonsense demeanor. Back then it had been amusing to see him fall flat on his face ...he felt bad for treating him like that now. Yet again something to atone for, he really deserved to die on those steps at that hotel, but he hadn't and that was that.

" Wesley Thanks for last night , thanks all of you " he gushed smiling at each of their faces
" Ummm... I don't suppose that you need another helper on your team. No special powers at all but I'm a mean research buddy and I'm good with the getting of donuts." he grinned ever hopeful they would take him in.

Cordy pushed forward till she was sitting on the bed at his side , she looked suspicious " Why Xander ...what happened in Sunnydale? " she eyed him carefully. Xander knew he would never be able to pull one over her, she knew something was up.

He shrugged, really not looking forward to explaining why he was there but knowing he would have no choice but to do just that ...he only hoped they wouldn't hate him for it also.

Gunn felt sorry for the poor guy ...first he was chewed on by a bunch of vampires and now Cordy was ragg'in on him ...he had to laugh though, damn glad he wasn't in Xander's shoes . That women once she got going, was a hell cat in pumps -ouch!.

" So man what you do? ...run away from your own wedding? . What's with the Tux? "

Xander turned to stare at Gunn . The laughter died in his throat " Shit "

" Oh my god " Cordy gasped and looked suitably shocked, while Xander looked at the floor intently interested in the cream linoleum.

" Seems you hit the nail on the head " Wesley stated with tight smile of sympathy.

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Part Six

Xander didn't even get to open his mouth and explain before a nurse bustled in and ordered everyone out. Alone again he shrank back into the bed and hugged his legs to his chest in comfort. The pain medication was working its magic on his throbbing body...but what of his heart. That was a pain not so easily forgotten, no drugs were going to diminish that ache.

He didn't remember slipping into sleep but he must have...for he woke from another disturbing dream. Robbing him of his brief moment of peace he shot out of bed, a scream on his lips only to almost succumb to a heart attack, when seemingly out of nowhere Angel appeared. Angel in his face ...so close...too close...he snapped shoving the vampire viciously away from him. Angel lost his balance and fell, his tush hitting the floor, hard.

" God damn it, Angel ... Can it ! with the whole stealth act. All this bloody time with humans and you would think you would have learnt something. That perhaps not creeping up on someone who has been recently slurped on by your kind would help . " fucking goddamn it he was pissed and he kicked the bed pan in his fury.

In his ranting he had failed to notice that Angel neither replied or had gotten up from the floor where he had landed. Xander spun around and his face fell...in just half a second the tension drained out of his body at the sight before him. Angel was weeping, silent tears were streaming down his face and Xander felt awful. Ignoring the niggling pain starting to make it self known in his thigh, he sank to the floor beside a shaking Angel.

Now that he was there...he didn't know quite what to do. " Deadboy " he whispered. He was sure he'd get a rise from the man with that insulting word...but nothing...he just continued to shake. Not knowing quite what he was doing he shuffled closer to him and slid one arm around his shoulders. Xander felt awkward but immediately Angel turned into his side and burrowed closer. Forgetting for the moment why he loathed this man, he brought his other arm around Angels back and hugged him tight. He was flabbergasted by Angels reaction and even more so by his own. Something hideously bad must have happened to turn this man into such an emotional mess.

Minutes ticked by before Angels shivers subsided and he raised his tearstained face from Xander's shoulder to look at the boy. Something so totally alien compelled Xander to reach a hand out and obliterate the wetness with a caress across Angel's cheek. He grinned at him and a wide eyed Angel smiled back at him in wonder ...there was a moment of complete understanding. Then Angel rose to his feet and walked away just as Wesley, Cordelia and Gunn entered the room... that single most perfect moment broken.
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Part Seven

Wesley immediately faltered on seeing Angel, his lean frame propped up against the back wall of the room... his body turned away from them. Wesley shrank back and let Cordelia and Gunn through in front of him, while he hung back in the doorway. His guilt still ran deep and he knew Angel didn't want to see him. Wesley almost felt he should leave, but with a determined lift of his chin he stayed put. He was to blame for Holtz snatching Connor but it was an accident and he had done everything in his power to retrieve Angel's son. He spent every night pouring over every inch of the prophecy and everyday searching out clues to the whereabouts of Holtz's hideout...he was exhausted ...and he was being ignored , he simply didn't need this.

As if Angel had sensed his weakness he turned from the wall to glare at him ...Wesley flinched and with extreme effort looked anywhere but at those cold accusing eyes.

Xander watched them with interest, while the others seemed not to notice...or perhaps they were simply trying to ignore it. He really wanted to know what was going on here?

Cordy came forward and hugged him gently as not to hurt him as she had the day before.    " Your okay Xander...right ? " her brow creased with fear but her eyes flickered towards Angel before settling on his face again with a small smile. Xander couldn't help but wonder who she was more concerned about. He smiled back at her and gave her a hug of reassurance.

The tension in the room was like a living thing, an unending silence seemed to consume the room as questions that were clamoring for attention were left unsaid. The same nurse from yesterday entered and it was as if the air had been forced back into the room and the world was allowed to commence spinning again. Everyone started to talk at once.

Cordy left Xander's embrace to sit on the bed  " Angel, did you find out anything? anything at all?  "

Angel gazed sadly at her for a moment before returning to glare at Wesley " No , nothing but I'll find him " grim determination , his voice like steel.

Cordy nodded her head , she had every confidence that he would find Connor , her fingers nervously straightened out the sheets , she needed something to do with her hands. She felt helpless because she couldn't just turn on a vision, find out where he was being hidden ...damn the PTB.

Gunn stood off too one side chatting to Xander, they avoided the subject of the wedding and Xander was just glad that Cordy hadn't brought it up yet. She seemed to be caught up in whoever Angel was looking for. Leaning closer to Gunn he asked " So your looking for someone and obviously Wesley did something wrong ... tell me? " .

Gunn looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening. Wesley was watching Angel and Cordy discuss something in hushed tones in the corner...no one was paying attention to them, so Gunn came closer " Its a long story but we are looking for Holtz a vampire hunter who kidnapped Connor. Ahhh he was in Wesley's care at the time "

" a vampire hunter? "

" yes"

" okay and he wants Angel dust "

" Yes ... he came from the past to kill Angel and Darla "

" Darla ? ...bit late there, she was killed six years ago ...I was there, Angel killed her "

" Uhh...She came back "

" What !!! ? " Xander raised his voice in disbelief. Everyone turned to look at him and he marched over to Angel. The thought of Darla brought back memories of Jesse and how he lost him to that bitch. " How in the hell did Darla come back from being dust ? "

Angel actually shrank back as Xander got up in his face

" It doesn't matter, she's gone for good this time " and he dismissed the conversation by walking away from him and towards the door...but Xander refused to be brushed aside and he whirled around grabbing Angel by the arm and turned the vampire to face him.

" Well I'd like to know " he screamed " someone better explain it to me " .

Angel roared and morphed into Gameface, grasping Xander by the throat painfully he lifted him off the ground and pressed him into the wall sharply. Xander immediately started to flail and kick at Angel in panic and rage. Angel dropped him and backed away.

Xander spluttered, rubbing at his neck while stumbling to his feet " Its nice to know Angelus is so damn close to the surface " he spat at him. Angel avoided looking at Xander...he wanted to leave now, but Wesley was blocking the doorway and he didn't need another scene, so he paced instead.

" Okay...What the hell is going on here? Who is Connor " he was practically seething with anger now .

Angel stopped short in the middle of his pacing and stated painfully " He's my Son "

Xander was thunderstruck he nearly toppled over his own feet...words left him, rendering him speechless, he just frowned, staring intently at Angel ...then he switched to stare at each of them as if to confirm that this was some kind of joke ..right? it was a joke...right?

Only sad faces stared back at him. Oh god.

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Part Eight

'Angel had a son' just screamed in his head and reverberated around in there (wasn't much else in there, so I guess that was a good thing). Although he knew by their faces it was the truth. Well actually he didn't, for all he knew they could all be having a collective hallucination ... No, no that wasn't possible his neck still hurt from Deadboy wringing it. 

After that bombshell (well truly, a bolt from the blue to only him ) ...damn the Sunnydale gang had to keep more in touch with the L.A lot ...this was ridiculous...its not like there hasn't been times that we could have done with their help. Now they needed our help  ... and he was here (but he wasn't in much of a position to ask Buffy for assistance here) ...Buffy , damn she would be devastated to think Angel was a father. It blew Xander's mind...Angel a Daddy. WOW.

While they were all standing around the room the doctor came in . A final check up and he was told he could leave. He was itching to leave...that hospital smell was driving him insane. He wanted fresh air...or as fresh as it could be, this was Los Angeles after all.

They all jammed into Angel's convertible and they were pulling away from the dreaded hospital...finally. No one spoke but he could deal with that, wind whipped around his face, it was gorgeous and he was alive...boy had that been a close shave though. A lump formed in his throat and he couldn't breathe ... oh my god he nearly died...he had been dying. It wasn't like this had been the first time ...but this had been so very close.

Xander started to cough uncontrollably and Angel slammed on the brakes, he spun in his seat " Xander are you okay ? " . They were all leaning towards him in alarm . Xander's coughs turned into great wracking sobs as his body shook. Cordelia threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly to her chest. Gunn placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. Xander and Angel stared at each other for long endless minutes before the vampire slowly turned and started the engine again without even a single word being spoken .

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Xander sat cross legged on the floor, his back against the wall ...propped between his knees lay a 'Watcher Diary' he had nabbed from Wesley's office while he was asleep. He should have been asleep himself but after discovering them three days ago ...he just couldn't put them down. He knew Watchers (even ex ones) guarded those Diaries with a fevered passion. He knew that because he had tried for years to get at the ones Giles had in his possession but to no avail. In the end Giles had been forced to register with a bank for a safety deposit box so that one nosey donut boy would stay out of his things.

He had been living at the Hyperion for five days now ...he had caught sight of that intensely  familiar binding in Wesley's office , in his locked cupboard by his desk...the one he kept his most treasured trinkets in. As soon as Xander recognized them he plotted ferociously to have them in his sweaty little hands. They haunted him and he began to dog Wesley till he slipped and Xander discovered where the man hid his key.

So here he was three days later after witnessing Wesley toss the key behind a damaged section of skirting board in the main lobby. He had waited till Wesley crawled out of the hotel ...another night translating that damn prophecy, the man was nothing but devoted. Angel was a blind idiot.

Three nights in breathtaking excitement ...reading about William the Bloody , Drusilla and Darla ...Angelus and Penn , it was so addictive and seductive. Every morning was agony to relinquish those pages to the dark cupboard. He dared not surrender to their power. They demanded to be read and for that to happen, he had to make sure he didn't create any type of suspicion in Wesley's eyes.

He had to say he loved being in L.A ...it was an awful thing to accept but he was appreciated here, unlike in Sunnydale where he had been feeling like the third wheel for sometime. It was the first night, after he had broken down completely on the ride home from the hospital, that he told them all about Anya and himself, the wedding and his running away. He had been stunned when Cordy hugged him to her tightly after his long monologue of what happened. They all gathered round him and listened ...even Angel. These people in such a short time had become a family ...it broke his heart to think how fractured everyone was in Sunnydale. He had made the right choice coming here.

Xander was so used to researching he was instantly recruited by Wesley...they had fast become friends and it was wonderful to know that Wesley didn't hold a grudge for the way he had been treated in the past. Xander seemed to be the only one that noticed Wesley's infatuation with the dark brooding vampire ... and that alone endeared him to Xander. Now he was stealing his diaries to read up about Spike and Angel ...maybe there was some juicy tidbit he could bribe them with or bring up loudly to the next Scooby meeting. What was he thinking... there wouldn't be another Scooby meeting for him...that was a sad prospect...but of course he would go back , one day when the time was right. His place was here.

Working with Wesley and joking around with Gunn and Cordelia he had managed to learn the entire story of how Darla was brought back from hell by the firm Wolfram and Hart . Of how she seduced Angel while human, only to later be turned back into a vampire by Drusilla. If only he could contact Spike about that one ...not that they really got on, because they loathed each others presence in the world but, although he disliked the neutered vamp he knew with certainty that he would have gotten a laugh out of Drusilla ...once grand Childe to Darla had been lowered to that of Drusilla's Childe ...oh how ironic was this world... he grinned.

Xander closed the diary, leaning his head against the wall he breathed deeply, he almost felt at peace here.

There was a slam of the lobby doors, glass rattling disturbingly in their frame...the stomping of boots up the main staircase.

" Xander ...I've found them " beamed Wesley as he came round the corner, he was out of breath and sweat was running down his forehead but he appeared ecstatic.

Xander had hidden the book behind his back ...he had no time to hide it . Wesley squinted his eyes in suspicion " What have you got Xander ? " . The game was up he might as well fess up ... shrugging his shoulders like the extremely guilty little boy that he was, he slid the diary out so that Wesley could see. Wes looked sharply at him then grinned " Find what you were looking for hmm? "

Xander grinned back .

Angel suddenly bounded down the hall and Wesley instantly spun around to face him excitement practically radiated from him " Angel ... I've found them "

Angel stopped mid stride " Are you sure ? "

Wesley nodded " positive "

Angel turned and started back down the hallway " Call Gunn we are going to need everybody on this, Xander help me pack the weapons "

Xander nodded although Angel had his back turned from them. He gave a quick smile to Wesley and quickly stumbled after the vampire. Angel stopped at the head of the stairs and without looking back whispered " Thank you Wes "

Wesley hugged his arms around his middle, closed his eyes " your welcome " he breathed to the empty hallway.

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Part Nine

Hidden in an abandoned train tunnel deep under the L.A freeway system, was where Holtz and his band of followers had taken Angel's child. Back in the 50's when they were nearing the end of tiling the interior of the subway, a committee of local council members and politicians ceased all work on the tunnel when three construction workers were found dead .  The entire site was swept under the proverbial carpet and it remained forgotten to this day.
That is until an acquaintance of Wesley's contacted him on seeing a demon that matched the description Wes had passed around the streets.

Fifteen minutes after confirming with 'Talon' that it was indeed the demon named Sahjhan that he had seen ...Wesley was breaking into the state library looking for blueprints of the area.

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As Xander and Gunn gathered a small arsenal of weapons for the rescue, Angel, Wesley and Cordelia poured over the stolen blueprints of 'Jericho Station' looking for any possible entrance besides the main elevator shaft ...every other possible access had been walled up according to the final plans. This would be a suicide mission if they couldn't find another way into that subway.

Angel roared, tearing the blueprints from the desk in frustration " We haven't got a hope in hell of getting to him " . Xander and Gunn burst into the room ...Cordelia tried to comfort Angel but he dodged out of her way " There must be a way , you can't give up Angel " . Angel spun to glare at her ...as if he would ever give up on getting his son back.

Xander came forward " What about magic?, open some portal thingy and poof you're inside"

Wesley grinned " Yes...yes that would work " and he marched out of his office only to return a moment later with the key to his locked cupboard. Reaching inside he withdrew the book he was looking for. Thumbing through the pages, muttering to himself  " Ahhh.. ha! " and he smacked the heavy book down on top of the desk " This is what we need... " . Everyone gathered around Wesley as he explained the spell and the symbols that must be drawn around a perfect circle on the floor. Wesley left soon after, leaving the preparations to Angels capable hands while he acquired some of the ingredients he did not possess.

Two hours later Wesley was kneeling in the centre of the circle while Angel, Xander, Cordelia and Gunn were arranged horizontally across the four symbols of time and space. Angel and Xander, heads side by side , Xander's feet flat against Gunn's and Angel matched with Cordelia's. Cordy and Gunn mirrored their position ... the effect was a diamond with the circle set in the middle and Wesley in the centre. The eye...a most powerful and dangerous hieroglyph...one that only someone practiced in the black arts should ever mess with.

Wesley with his head bent over a small bowl began to sing in a soft haunting voice, the fractured melody twisted higher, reaching a crescendo as smoke curled around his head from the centre of the bowl. Suddenly Wesley arched his back throwing his head up towards the heavens as a beam of ivory light zapped his body, making him convulse uncontrollably. The light penetrated his entire body before shooting out and connecting with the others. As the light pulsed frantically, all five bodies disappeared only to reappear under the ground.

All five of them stumbled to their feet as the world around them spun and then refocused. Clutching their weapons ...it was Angel who motioned the rest of them forward with a wave of his hand. Footsteps could be heard advancing in their direction. Seconds later four humans rounded the corner and Angel pounced driving them back...but it was as if they had known what he would do. Scrambling out of the vampires way seven other humans attacked them from behind. A fight ensued and the clang of metal reverberated through the tunnel until a shout rang out above it all " Angel ?... " 

As Holtz pushed his way through his soldiers, the fighting stopped. In his arms lay Angel's son...Connor seemed blissfully unaware of the turmoil that surrounded him.

Holtz smiled coldly at Angel " Angelus I'm glad you have come, you can bare witness to your sons departure from this world , say your Goodbyes as you will " his eyes flashed .

Sahjhan emerged out of thin air " Are you ready ? "  

Holtz smirked at Angel as he addressed Sahjhan " Yes ...I' am ready"

Sahjhan waved his hands above his head , his voice echoed all around them as he bellowed out an incantation ...a phantom wind whipped around them as a rip in space formed behind Holtz. Xander had spent enough time on the Hellmouth to know that this was not of the good.

Without any thought whatsoever he lunged at the vampire hunter snatching Connor out his arms. Holtz grabbed at Xander in rage, winding his fingers in the boys jumper he dragged him back towards the swirling portal . Xander locked eyes with Angel and gave him one last brilliant smile before he tossed the child in the air. Angels reflexes had Connor safe in his fathers arms.

Xander was swallowed up by the gravitational pull of the portal... it instantly shrank and then vanished behind him. Silence reigned as everyone froze in horror...they had lost Xander.

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Part Ten

Xander tumbled onto a cobblestone street, rain cascaded down his face and soaked through his clothing. In the corner of his eye he saw movement, he whirled towards the ever shrinking portal that had transported him here. Scrambling to his feet in a mad panic he threw himself at the dwindling opening, only to pass right through it and land face first in a puddle of mud.

Xander heard wild raucous laughter behind him and he tried to get his feet to obey him. He was freezing and the rain pelted his unprotected body. Xander managed to heave himself to his knees but the effort was too much and he rested there panting harshly. With a deep breath he lifted his face towards the laughter. There was a glint of steel then he felt the sharp sting across his cheek and he reeled back landing on his butt . Xander hissed in agony, plastering the palm of his hand against the cut across his cheek. The man that had laughed at him crouched beside him , it was Holtz's face he saw as he blinked through the rain.

" You had no right to interfere, he was mine ....YOU destroyed my chance for revenge " the man seethed as he paced in front of the boy, a knife clutched in his fist.

Xander peered at the man warily as he took in his surroundings. His heart sank completely at the knowledge that this was the end for him and he actually started to laugh. An hysterical giggle that burst forth with all the hopelessness, the travesty that had been his life.

" Angelus may have killed your family but that wasn't the demon, that was the souled vampire, the champion " Xander stopped speaking and giggled again at the crap coming out of his mouth   " What am I saying ... I never liked Angel either, but you were trying to kill his son and he was an innocent in all this " and he waved his arms about as if stating a point. Xander frowned , his eyes drifting to the road " It doesn't matter now ...we are here "

Holtz scowled at him " I would have never slaughtered an innocent child , I only meant for Angelus to suffer as I have suffered "

Xander blinked at him incredulously " Oh ...so you're saying that Connor would have been safe here in this hell dimension ?  "

Holtz raised an eyebrow and frowned " This is not Hell ...this is my time , I 'am home " and he swept his arms around him indicating the empty dark street.

Xander was confused " Home ? You live here ? " and he looked closely at the darkness, barren streets with only the barest of light coming from glassed in torches , lamp posts? that was odd. " Where are we ? " 

Holtz smiled " London ... I don't recognize the street but its very much London "

Xander continued to gaze around him in wonder " London, as in England ? " and then it all crashed down around him, that fleeting hope he was still in this world , gone .

" What year is it ? " he turned towards the man .

Holtz smiled coldly at him " 1771 or thereabouts and...No ,  you won't ever be going home again " .

Xander closed his eyes and swallowed , he would never survive this , he would catch the plague or something ... or was that earlier than this ? , goddamn it !!! he had failed 'History' at school ...he knew he would die some horrible death, probably while having leeches sucking on his skin in some hospital where they poked electrodes in your brain because they bloody well could " Xander knew he was ranting like a lunatic but he couldn't seem to stop himself .

" Actually " came a voice out of the darkness " its 1882 and you should be long deceased Holtz " that soft Irish lilt a seductive distraction from the hysteria in Xander's head.

Out from the shadows loomed one man Xander never wanted to meet again. Angelus ...larger than life and twice as deadly. He couldn't help but gasp as those hooded eyes concentrated on him for a second ...he was held there under his spell. Then Angelus passed him to confront his old foe.

" Holtz what are you doing here ?  " then he laughed and the sound went straight to Xander's heart as he froze " don't tell me that you turned to the darkness " and he tutted sarcastically " oh my, my, how we have changed " and he leaned into Holtz sniffing his neck as the man tried to remain calm " You don't smell like a vampire ...actually you smell very much like a human " and he licked his lips invitingly. " Do you taste as good as you smell, I never did get a taste of you " he pouted and noticed the alarm in Holtz's eyes...the increased heart beat , this was fun, he had missed this .

Just then two giant stallions rushed towards them, they were tethered to a rather impressive looking coach. In all the confusion Holtz managed to back away from Angelus without him noticing and took off at a run down the street. The horses passed them and carried on down the street their hooves clicking loudly against the cobblestone.

Angelus realized that Holtz had escaped and he roared " Find him and Kill him... my sweet child " and he turned to his little girl and smiled at her gently.

Drusilla grinned back at him in excitement, she clapped her hands together in glee " Yes daddy I will hunt him for you, his blood will warm my belly ... Spiky, will you come and share with mommy ? "

Spike slipped out of the darkness behind Xander, at his words he spun to face the vampire in shock " I don't think so sweetness ...I'm going to stay here and keep this boy company ...you go have some fun luv " . He barely even glanced at her as his heated gaze swept Xander from head to foot . Drusilla growled at the insolence of her childe but left him there as she went after her prey.

Darla laughed as she clung to Angelus's side, they both watched the pair with interest. She nibbled on Angelus's ear " I think her boy has found another playmate " and she rubbed her hand against Angelus's groin. He growled at her and threw her over his shoulder carrying her away into the Shadows once more.

Xander could only freeze as Spike 'SPIKE' circled him ...hunger screamed in his bodies movements, in his face as he rubbed his lithe form all over a dazed Xander . Spike combed his fingers through wet luscious hair and leaned in . He licked Xander's cut with a long sweep of his tongue .

Oh god he was in a world of trouble now as Xander shook with fear and tried not to scream.

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Part Eleven

Xander's eyes slipped closed when he felt the chill of that wet tongue on his cheek. He couldn't quite believe that he was kind of 'turned on' by Spike...of all people. He hadn't been this close to the man before and his body was sending out all kinds of weird signals at the vampires proximity. His brain hadn't even fully registered that he was indeed in the company of Angelus and an unchipped Spike ... adding to the fact that Spike was caressing him in places that no man had ever gone (well besides his own hand that is) and the fact that it was...well Spike.

Xander wasn't sure how long he had been frozen to the spot but long enough to know he was sporting a rather impressive hard on, all of his own...and that was saying nothing about the equally hard bit of flesh trying to wear a hole into his thigh by a very randy vampire.

" Mmmm God your delicious , I could just eat you all up " Spike squeezed himself closer to warm skin that was so very enticing. His fangs itched to maim that beauty displayed under his touch. He craved that heat scorching his chilled flesh...all he wanted to do was burrow his way into this human before him ...he was ravenous.

Xander's need to survive this encounter, kicked in and he pushed himself sharply away from Spike's grip. He knew what he was trying to achieve was fairly useless...but he couldn't give up. He had lived on the Hellmouth too long, that 'giving in' just wasn't an option. He had to at least try to get away.

Spike wasn't at all surprised that this human was trying to escape...Hell , he would have been offended if the boy hadn't at least given it a token try. He laughed...oh how he loved it when they ran , when they avoided what was so hopelessly inevitable. The chase ...the struggle...oh the whole game just thrilled him ...and ...oh ...the blood was so heavenly after such exertion...such fear. He smacked his lips already feeling the buzz on his tongue.

Xander tore down the street ...he had no idea where , he just had to think. His mouth got him into all sorts of trouble surely there was something he could say that would stop Spike from devouring him. Fuck!! he was damned if he was going to die in some strange city , on his knees in the mud and rain ...no way... and not by Spike's hand. He would not wallow in his despair and he surged forward with an angry burst of speed.

Spike walked at a brisk pace ...all he had to do was follow that intensely arousing scent. Like a women, this boy smelled like a perfumed lady of the night. How interesting ...and then there was the state of his clothing. He had never seen anything like it ...so strange, foreign ...God, that just inflamed his need. He was indeed intrigued by this boy.

Xander got to the end of the street and nothing, no alley, not a single place he could go ...but back. Hesitantly he started to inch forward out of that dead end (no pun intended) street. Then Spike was there...just appeared out of the night, arms stretched wide in a mocking display of affection. As if he would ever run into those arms...now was the time to get that mouth working , say something so brilliant that it will floor him and he won't kill you , yeah...even he, wasn't convinced of that.

Shadows danced across the wall and the night air that only seconds ago rushed by him, cold but exhilarating, had turned thick and it seemed to cloy at his clothing, dragging him down. His brain began to get foggy and he started to stutter...so this was real terrifying fear, he had missed its presence in his life. NOT. 

That grin and he was coming closer...damn...help! something , something...please just open your mouth. Xander found himself backed into the far wall. Darkened windows seemed to mock him from above...the night was so still ...only his heart beat, thumping madly and that smug grin coming ever...ever closer.

" Spike I know you ....please don't do this " Xander sagged against the wall as the vampire was almost upon him.

Spike blinked ...this was different " You know me " he bit his tongue and then licked his top lip , tilting his head curiously " Hmmmm I think I'd remember, such a meeting " a lascivious grin on his face.

Xander gulped ..Oh god " yes...we know each other in the future " and he flattened himself against that brick wall , closing his eyes briefly as Spike loomed over him , leaning towards his neck.

Spike lifted his head from Xander's throat ...the hunger throbbed in his veins but he could wait " We know each other ...in the future ? " and he licked at the shell of Xander's ear before growling " So how come you aren't dead " .

Xander shivered uncontrollably...fuck . Spike shouldn't be able to scare him ...but this wasn't the Spike he knew, this was the killing machine , William the bloody , rail road spikes ..Oh hell . He couldn't exactly tell him about the chip, he would never believe that.

" ummm you just can't , that's all " and Xander froze as a tongue lapped at his jaw. Spike snickered knowingly " Oh you can't ...why's that ? " Without letting Xander answer he pressed his body against that welcoming heat once more and sighed like a contented pussy cat " As much as your distraction has been fascinating ...I'm becoming rather peckish ...so relax , open yourself up to me my beautiful snack " he grinned against that satin skin " if your very very good , Daddy may just lavish upon you the greatest gift of all "

Xander's eyes shot open and in a massive rush of air it all came tumbling out of his mouth

" Darla was turned by The Master in 1609 . Liam was born in 1727 only to be turned into a vampire by Darla in 1753 calling himself Angelus. Drusilla was driven mad by Angelus and then turned into a vampire in 1860 . She found you ,William and turned you into a vampire in 1880 after you were rejected by Cecily, in 1900 you killed your first Slayer in China . In 1977 you killed your second Slayer in New York . In 1997 you came to Sunnydale , California ...the Hellmouth and I was offered to you as a snack by Angel . You tried numerous times to kill me and my friends but Buffy the Slayer managed to stop you. You...ahhh took Drusilla and left Sunnydale...only to return the following year without her ...she abandoned you for another demon...and and "

Xander stopped, looked up at Spike through the locks of wet hair plastered to his face. Spike was staring at him in what appeared to be shock...he almost felt like laughing at that expression , he had never seen Spike like that... he swallowed the absurd bubble of laughter, he knew that would only get him dead . So he breathed , waiting...waiting for the questions , hoping there were questions and not teeth in his throat. He couldn't believe he had remembered all that, surprising what stark raving terror could do to a person.

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