Part One

He swiped at an annoying trickle of sweat sliding down his temple. It was sticky, humidity that seemed to cloy at you, drag you down into its murkiness and that was something he didn't need. They had been searching for Spike, of course he hadn't volunteered...but the glares of two peeved women had worn him down.

All that work, fixing the damn windows and for what? So that he could do it all over again. Damn the Hellmouth...he knows he should be used to the constant battle by now. At this moment he could be hammering, measuring and lugging timber, but no... they had to hunt down the source of all badness to fetch a vampire.  

He hadn't said anything, but if the 'big evil' had a hankering for Spike...what the hell were they going to do about it? Let the demon have him!. Okay maybe a vampire on their side again could be useful in a showdown, but Spike was hardly in any condition to protect himself... let alone others.

What happened to the goddamn street lights?

Xander gazed into inky blackness, he took a dubious step forward...resisting the urge to reach out for Buffy's hand. He turned to look at her, but her attention was engaged elsewhere. He almost laughed at the absurdness...him the hapless sidekick, the bait. She knew all too well the way 'demons' were drawn to him like he was the most succulent nectar.

Why the hell was he here again?

Oh yeah...Spike.

Just then something caught his attention.

On the ground...a little way out in front of him.

What was that?

He surged forward not even thinking of the possible danger. Forgetting Buffy was there...

Water...

The ground was wet.

When had it rained?

He squatted down just as something brushed his back, something moving helluva fast. Xander lost his balance, dropping forward, his hands instantly thrust out in front to brace the impact.

His hands connected with the wetness, it oozed between his fingers...so cold. Lifting dripping fingers towards his face...too dark, the colour, too....

Oh god...it was blood.

Its not like that was a strange occurrence, he'd certainly seen his fair share of blood. His own especially, but for some reason this sent shivers coursing down his spine.

He turned around to face Buffy...that's when he realized she'd taken off after the creature that had bowled him over. He could just make out her blonde waves shining in the darkness as she tore down the street... away from him.

He was alone and he smelt of blood...not his own, still it would bring every vampire in the vicinity, soon enough. Especially with his luck.

Then he heard it.

So faint, like crying but not.

Whimpering... that was it. A lame animal.

A wounded animal...although now as he listened, he'd swear it was human.

Xander spun towards the sound, the alley, the very dark alley. Crazy...because in the day, this alley, well, it wasn't scary, but now...damn it was creeping him out.

The sound though.

That piteous moan, it was tearing down his desire to flee.

There could be someone in that alley that needed his help, bleeding to death while vampires circled like ravenous vultures.

Again, people died every day in this town...

Xander shook himself out of that thought. It wasn't like him to be so brutal, so heartless. He was needed and hell that wasn't something he was used too.

Then again...they could be vampires feeding on some unfortunate Sunnydale resident and he would be walking in on such a banquet...hell he could be their dessert.    

Xander almost slapped himself in the face for dawdling while vampires were closing in on the scent.

Just then the whimpers seemed to become more pronounced and he finally made up his mind he was going in.

Unwilling...but knowing he'd never be able to live with himself if he didn't try to help.

Still didn't hurt to be prepared 'n' all...as he slid a nice pointy stake out of his jean pocket. He twisted the rough wood in his hand, positioning it out in front of his body...ready to strike if necessary. 

The whimpering stopped.

An ominous emptiness with no sound.

Why?

Maybe they had heard him enter the alley and were afraid.

Yes that was it...because he would be damned if he would start to believe that this was some kind of a trap.

Not yet, although...

Every inch into the alley felt like a mile out of this friggin nightmare..

If this was indeed an ambush, he was pretty much doomed. His legs were turning to Jell-O and nothing had even happened yet.

Squinting into the heavy gloom.

Tucked into the far wall as if trying to merge into the very brick...was a figure.

White hair was a giveaway.

"Spike?" he croaked, sucking in air he never realized he'd been holding.

His hair seemed dark in patches, matted and every nerve screamed danger.

So it was with agonizing betrayal that he watched, as if detached from it, from the hand that reached out, his own hand that slid so gently over that bowed head. Fingers instantly caught in the dirt caking those soft waves.

The body under his warm fingers... flinched.

Before he could utter a word... he was attacked.

Spike

Wet, dirty rag doll one instant.

Seething mass of fury as he drooled over his sprawled body... the next.

Xander was held down easily, although he could see that Spike's arm shook with the effort.

He wasn't ...well

Spike hovering close, over him.

There was only the eerie silence and cold liquid soaking into his shirt, under that still hand. 

Rumble of a car gunning seemed to upset the balance.

A falsely golden light skidding over the brick walls, reaching into every crevice as the driver made a u-turn before hightailing down the main street.

In those brief instances.

Flashes...

all revealed.

Xander had no words...he could see the haunted look in those yellow eyes. Even if he could find his voice...the vampire would surely not be listening.

Spike was drenched in his own blood... by the look of it. Tiny daggers of some kind embedded in his chest. Xander was shocked he was even conscious...how he wished he wasn't. He was so very dead. Spike had been feeding on humans for possibly weeks, no chip...okay a soul, but Xander doubted very much if that was going to be his saving grace.

In one unbelievable move, he was swept up in the vampires arms and as his feet touched the ground...a pair of agonizingly sharp fangs pierced through his shoulder.

Xander could feel the pull of his blood as it left his body.

The pull of his body, a reflex... as he stepped further into Spike's embrace.

His shirt...torn from him.

Fisted and balled into a corner.

Widely spread fingers ghosted over the expanse of his chest.

He shivered, nipples erect at the touch.

All this in a matter of seconds.

Xander blinked and reality swam back into dismally sharp focus.

He shoved hard at the wall of muscle holding him in place...to his absolute surprise Spike reeled backwards.

Xander clutched his wounded shoulder. Pointing the tip of the stake directly at Spike. He felt woozy, damn him. He staggered sideways till the hand that held the stake struck the brick wall. He let the wood clatter to the ground. His teeth clenched as he breathed harshly through the searing pain, glaring at the vampire who was watching his every move.

"Bastard" he ground out between his teeth, letting his body rest against that wonderfully strong wall. His eyes closing for a moment.

"Sorry"

Xander's eyes opened and he whirled around to face Spike who was considerably closer then he had been only a moment ago...except the sudden movement was a little too much for his blood deprived brain. He stumbled backwards...oh how he loved that wall. Always there to support him...lovely, lovely wall. When Xander's world stopped to-ing and fro-ing...that's when he remembered that Spike had apologized and he was goddamn furious with the vampire.

"You're Sorry? " Xander snorted. He was about to chew him out when Spike muttered.

"Sorry sweetness..."

Xander frowned "Sweetness?"

"Buffy I know that I've..."

Xander whispered "Buffy?" He thinks I'm the Slayer and he was just about to correct him, then caught himself at the last moment. Maybe it was safer if he let Spike think he was Buffy. Hell Spike hated 'Xander'...best to keep the illusion for the time being.

"Spike we need to get to Xander's apartment, clean you up, get some help..." he waited, hoping Spike was receptive to this idea. He seemed to consider it...well he hoped that was what he was doing, it's not like he could see a flam'in thing. Why was he inviting Spike back to his place...blowed if he knew. Why wasn't he making his escape? He couldn't, to put it simply and not just because 'the girls' would kill him if he left the guy there...no, the real reason was that he was pretty sure he'd pass out before he made it home and he intended to use said vampire as his crutch... since he was the cause of this predicament.

He weaved towards Spike...every millisecond closer to the unstable vampire, his brain screamed a virtual torrent of abuse, alarm bells clanging in his head 'how bloody stupid he was'. Still, he continued to edge closer.

Spike obviously tired of all the pussy-footing...just grabbed his arm and slung it over his shoulder. His right arm snuck around Xander's waist to keep him standing. Xan tensed for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut, waiting for the darn pain to begin again. His eyes sprung open as Spike pulled him down the alley...okay no sharp teeth, that had to be good, right?

"We have to move... quickly"

and Xander didn't need to ask why because as they neared the mouth of the alleyway...he could see 'why'. 

Vampires.

Newly born vampires, still had the dirt from their graves clinging to their clothing. Three of them that Xander could make out in the gloom...they circled both of them as they prepared to attack.

A light blinked on in a building across the way...the sudden illumination distracted Xander long enough for one vampire to swipe at him before he had a chance to move out of the way. Xander burned with the sting of flesh gouged from his cheek. Spike released him to pounce on the one that had assaulted him.

A compact fury of wildly kicking legs and fists that pummeled the unfortunate vamp with no restraint...in the end Xander had to intervene and stake the minion out of pity. Spike crouched down to sink his hand into the dust left behind, Xander watched on in a daze as Spike let the fine grains flow through fingers...his expression one of manic glee.

"Fuck..." Xander cursed under his breath and he so wanted to be fixing those darn windows for the umpteenth time...this was so not good. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the other two still circling, but the majority of his attention remained on Spike's hunched form.

He tried not to flinch when Spike was suddenly just there, in his face in a fraction of a second. Two cool hands clasped against the side of his face. Xander could feel the grittiness of the vamps remains caressing his skin as Spike swiped his thumb over each temple. Xander choked on the gasp that threatened to betray him and ended up swallowing heavily as their eyes met and held fast. Emotions tumbled across Spike's face and Xander couldn't help but gawp back at the man...perhaps it was a good time to tell him he wasn't Buffy.

Spike leaned closer, his eyes flickering over Xander's mouth. Xander tried not to freak as those lips hovered over his...a ghost of a whisper as Spike breathed his name over his impossibly dry lips.

Oh god...his name. He knew he was all along.

Those long fingers left his heated skin and Spike turned, glaring out at the remaining demons. Xander blinked, a light fog over his brain as he swayed just a little on his feet...What just happened? Spike growled dangerously. Xander shook himself out of his stupor just in time to plunge back down into an exquisite state of heightened awareness as Spike combed his fingers through Xander's sweat soaked hair. Clutching at his scalp as Spike's hunger flickered over Xander's face. One arm snuck across his back, the other threaded through his hair at the back of his head...Xander was as close as he'd ever been. He had a mind to struggle, but forgot why as Spike's tongue lapped achingly slow across his cheek. The coolness of that mouth a balm to his inflamed wound. When he finally woke up to what was happening, Xander was horrified to find that he had been nuzzling the side of his face into Spike's ravenous mouth, encouraging the vampire to take more. 

Spike lifted his head from Xander's shoulder, he licked at his glossy lips, catching those errant drops with his tongue...rolling the flavour around his mouth. Xander fought the need to moan at Spike's perverse action. Those fingers reached under Xander's chin, tilting his head back to gain his attention...like it would be anywhere else.

Xander was caught by the sight of one vivid red droplet as it came to rest on Spike's chin...it had escaped the vampire's mouth only to tuck itself into the shelter of that gorgeously protruding bottom lip. 

Spike leaned in once more to whisper temptingly across his lips " Just go along with me...I need 'em to believe that you are my claim if we are to get out of here... intact. "

Xander nodded, the words had sunk in, but his mind was consumed by that brilliant red against such pale skin. Before he could even contemplate the wrongness of the act, he had collected the stray bead onto his finger. Bringing the glistening finger towards his face...it was with awe that he followed the trickle of blood as it slid down his finger. Every thought was remembering that this was his blood and Spike had stolen it. It was only fair that he should confiscate it.

In the same moment Spike latched on to his hand and in one quick movement had engulfed his finger. Immediately Xander fought to gain back his digit from that wicked mouth, the challenge only strengthened Spike's tenacity. He bit gently at Xander's finger to keep him on edge...his eyes locked with Xander's. Spike grinned around the finger, curling his tongue around the work calloused digit...all traces of blood were devoured, but he couldn't help teasing the Scoobie. His life had little pleasure, so he would take what was on offer and the heat coming off Xander was just delectable...how could he resist, how could anyone.

Spike gave Xander's finger one last suck, releasing the digit with an obscene wet slurp. Xander held the shiny finger...he had an urge to taste, but he resisted. Shocked pupils sought out the vampires, Spike only grinned at a Xander that seemed for once in his life...lost for words.

" They've gone...lets go Harris " and with a quick once over he proceeded to walk on ahead. Xander took a minute to comply, shaking his head furiously, trying to dislodge the haze over his brain. He needed a serious talk with himself...as if life hadn't been complicated enough when he was with Anya. To put it bluntly, he was horny...he missed sex and obviously his desperate libido was looking in Spike's direction. No matter how much he hated the man and would always be battling the 'voice' in his head that said 'stake the bastard' ...he had to admit to being attracted to him. There was just no way that he would lower himself to starting something with the vampire.

"Fuck"

Spike really wasn't waiting for him... Xander could see his dirty blonde head almost at the corner. He began to run to catch up, damn...there goes his crutch. Surprisingly his shoulder wasn't hurting, he stopped under the street light at the corner to examine the twin holes. Movement to his right drew his attention, Spike was standing in the middle of the footpath waiting for him.

"It's healed, where you bit me...how?"

Spike shrugged "Vampire mate... claimed ya didn't I."

An expression that had a uncanny likeness to someone who'd just stepped in something rather unpleasant...graced Xander's face.

"Oi..." Spike snapped.

Xander missed the hurt look that flickered over his features.

"I thought you were pretending, that's what you said...I can't believe you actually did this" Xander seethed.

" Claim you..."

Xander scowled at Spike's obvious amusement " Yes...claim me. "

Spike chose to ignore the fact that Xander was fairly peeved at him in lieu of teasing the Scoobie.

" I didn't realize that anything I said had actually sunk in. You seemed a tad distracted, pet. " he smirked at Xander, waiting for the denial to fall from his lips.

Xander refused to bite...instead he chose to glare at the smug vamp.

Spike impatiently pushed Xander out his way, Xander muttered angrily that the 'presence of a soul did nothing for his personality...he was still a rude asshole'. He almost snapped the front door key in half trying to rip it out of the lock. Why was it with all his resources and skills he still managed to forget the most menial of handyman duties. He'd been meaning to oil that lock for a week now...damn the Hellmouth and especially one pain in the arse vampire.

Tossing the seriously bent keys in the dish...he followed Spike into the kitchen yawning. He hadn't been sleeping and with blood loss added to the mix...well all he could say was, he was surprised he could even function.

Spike was already nose deep in his fridge...he appeared a moment later with an armful of blood bags. Xander snorted and Spike turned to look at him, his expression one of turmoil. The bags landed on the floor and Xander ended up braced against the kitchen wall with one hand against his bare abdomen, the other clutched onto his throat with a grip meant to leave more than just bruises. He was growling in Xander's face like a rabid dog, lip curled back to display an impressive pair of fangs.

Xander had no idea what just happened? It was exactly like the alley...Spike attacking out of nowhere. It was the human blood...it had to be Spike's caged demon rattling at his cage. Fuck...he had no means at which to stop him, it was of little use to pray for Buffy to stop by.

Oh god, Spike's hand, his claw like nails, squeezing his windpipe, it burned...his mind was racing. Was this the 'life flickering before your eyes' shtick. Xander opened his mouth to...he forgot why. He had to blink for his world to remain in focus, his room...his apartment...his life. Xander's eye's watered furiously, he couldn't scream...sound had been leeched out of the world, only those hideous yellow eyes existed, unblinking, staring at him, no, through him, devouring him. Was he swimming?...it was all liquid now and it flowed, so gently...so warm ...so easy...so...

Part Three a)

Spike could feel the pulse under his fingers turn sluggish, the emotion rushing through him was frightening yet intoxicating. He had power over his prey and that wasn't something he'd really felt in the longest time, but the soul, it tainted the experience...because he knew it to be wrong. He wasn't a killer, not any more, he couldn't...his unbearably heavy conscience would not allow it. How in the hell did Angel get through this...simple...he still had not.

It took all his strength to wrench the demons hold over him. Ripping through his mind, bright terrorifying pain...

Xander slumped to the linoleum flooring and as his knees struck the surface, he gasped. He gulped down air greedily between bouts of violent coughing. His hands smoothed over his own abused throat...he swore he felt the indentations of those deadly fingers on his tender skin. From his place on the floor he could see Spike's boots in his peripheral vision...he whimpered, scrambling across the kitchen floor to tuck himself protectively into a corner.

Spike watched in horror as Xander fled from him, he scrunched his trembling body into the space between the fridge and the door. Not long ago this would have brought him orgasmically close to perfection...having 'Xander LaVelle Harris' his own  pet rabbit, cowering in his pathetic hiding place, waiting for the 'big bad' to swallow him whole.

Crouching down to Xander's level he ran a hand over the boys bare shoulder, it didn't surprise him when the only reply was a hard shudder, that resonated through the body under his touch. While Spike balanced there, he tried to think, to find the right words...but not even the ghost of 'William' the bloody awful poet ' could help him. He had claimed Xander in what he realized now was a fit of lust driven madness, but that hadn't been enough...because within a heartbeat he had managed to turn around and almost kill the man he had chosen as mate.

Spike was eventually forced from his vigil by the encroaching sun. He wasn't sure which was more brutal, the golden rays that promised a most painful death or the ever silent Xander, still awake, still sandwiched in that damned corner...desperately ignoring his presence.

Not only was it the sun that drove him to finally move, (although the thin wisps of dancing sunlight across his forearm were enough of an incentive) no, it was the hunger. His demon craved the boy...his demon would never have him, but he must feed.

As if Xander had smelt his desperate need...he finally raised his head to look into his eyes. There was such calm in those brown orbs, an acknowledgement that it was over. As if the boy had resigned to the fact that there was no escape. He was calm alright... because inside the light had been extinguished. Spike wanted to scream...'in no way did Xander have the fucking right to just 'give up' he would not allow it.

"No..." he roared.

There was the tiniest spark in those pupils, a hint of defiance.

Spike grinned...he had not gone, not yet anyway.

"Is the most useless of the Scoobies down for the count? Gonna let 'big bad' snatch you up then? Not even going to try and protect yourself, whelp? Twenty odd years on the Hellmouth and you're whimpering in the corner. Want me to fetch your mama you sniveling child. You're all big brown eyes, screwed shut, so tight, praying that the Slayer will come and save you from me..." Spike drawled, a smirk highlighting his features.

Xander straightened, shoulders gently rolled back...he still hadn't said a thing, but the change of position was encouraging.

Spike's eyes flashed to gold, drawing back his lip till his fangs were revealed...he snarled at Xander "I'm famished...why don't you oblige me...being my 'mate' and all."

Oh god, he almost shouted with joy when he was rewarded with one Xander Harris almost foaming at the mouth. Spike had a feeling Xander had no idea what 'claiming' actually meant. Oh yes, he'd been angry, furious when he'd told him about the claiming in front of a handful of minions. Telling him to go along with anything that happened... if he wanted to survive. Truth was Spike could have dusted those vamps in minutes...even with his resources seriously depleted.

He'd always had a 'thing' for Xander. He kinda liked him yet despised him at the same time. He had balls and that perked his interest. Zero skills, but willing to get in there and chew up some of that scenery for himself...he had to admire the boys spunk. It helped that he was pretty, all dark thick curls and warm chocolate eyes...how could he resist indeed.

"No...I'm not" Xander spluttered.

Spike was so nauseatingly happy that he had finally spoken.

Xander enraged " I'm not ...not yours, never yours Spike"

Spike grinned.

He was just so gorgeous...spitting fire.

"Yes...you are mine" he whispered with such force, as if the subject was closed to debate.

"No...never" Xander breathed helplessly.

Damn it, he never did listen. Spike lunged across the space between them...two ruthless hands came down hard on Xander's shoulder blades. Then fingers trailed heavily down his arms, finally grabbing both wrists in a crushing hold. Xander couldn't move away...they stared at each other only inches apart. Spike so silently menacing while Xander panted furiously...their eyes never left the other.

Part Three b)

It was Spike that backed down...tearing his hands from that enticingly warm skin. He broke the contact in favour of the blood bags strewn all over the kitchen floor. As ghastly as pigs blood was to his demon, he would not be bullied into taking his fill from Xander's veins.

Spike turned his back on Xander, knowing that it probably wasn't wise, but doing it anyway. He moved quickly across the room to pick up the blood bags. As he gathered the bags in his arms he contemplated heating the blood in the microwave, but Xander was advancing on him...what was the boy thinking? Spike spun to face him and what was supposed to be a warning turned into something a little less menacing as the bags slipped out of his grasp and skidded across the floors surface.

Xander didn't hesitate to scoop up the bags into his arms, backing out of the kitchen, Spike followed him at a lazy slow pace, so smug...so self assured it made Xander all the more determined. Without turning his back on the vampire he reached back and disengaged the lock to the front door, turning and swinging the door open wide.

Thrusting the handful of blood towards Spike " Here...take them and leave "

Spike only grinned at the demand. How very brave of Harris to act all macho and kick him out. Shame the furious pounding of his heart betrayed Xan's performance...he had to applaud the effort, but he still wasn't going anywhere.

Xander lost a little of his composure as Spike continued to smile at him. He hadn't said a word, nor had he moved. Honestly he didn't expect Spike to actually 'go', but he did desire some type of a reaction...because the consistent silent watching was making him very uncomfortable.

"Spike?"

"Hmmm..." was his response.

"Are you going to leave? "

" What do you think Harris? " he drawled, arching an eyebrow at the bravery of such a command.

Xander was forced to look away, he was finding it difficult to concentrate. It was a sadly clichéd thought that slipped into his brain, but those eyes just lured him in, moth to the flame type analogy...irresistible force meets...

Anyway, it was only a blink and Spike was there...again. He should have learnt not to take his eyes off the man. Why hadn't he ran, locked himself in the bathroom...instead of finding himself, again, sprawled on the floor. Spike was seated directly over his pelvis, straddling his hips. It registered in Xander's fuzzy thoughts, that for a powerful creature Spike was surprisingly light...then again maybe his sense of touch was seriously dampened by the nice thick fog blanketing his brain. There was Xander's excuse for not responding fast enough...blood loss. If the look in Spike's eyes was anything to go by, there was going to be a lot more to come.

Spike squirmed on top of his prey, a body that screamed tension...every muscle tightly curled. It made his skin tingle to know he dominated the kid. Stretching his right arm over that smooth chest, fingers combing through those thick waves of dark hair. He held his package in a firm grip, squeezing gently as the intensity deepened.

The second Spike knew he had Xander's undivided attention...he bit. Fangs sank deep into that tough skin. Blood splattered across Xander's cheek. Red stroked across Xander's chest like he was the canvas for an abstract painter. Spike grinned around the bag he was happily slurping on...admiring the mess he was making. As he drained the last drops, he flung the empty plastic across the floor.

His eyes devoured the sight pinned under him, he had to admit that he was quite the artist... when inspired. Spike hesitated in his examination, one lone droplet of blood drew his attention away from the main picture. He became mesmerized by it's journey as it glided across that bronze terrain. Gravity sent it storming over one hard peak, only to have the trail shimmy down the opposite side. A slick red path in it's wake as the bead disappeared around Xander's torso.

Xander grasp on reality kept slipping and honestly he had no idea if it was the blood that had been stolen from him or the insane rush of lust taking him over. All he knew was this position wasn't helping. As if he'd spoken aloud (of course he knew he hadn't) he was rolled onto his side. It was a little better...at least he wasn't looking directly into that smoldering gaze. Spike's body was still firmly draped over him, but he had at least space to think, to pull himself together.

Xander closed his eyes, breathing in the fibres of the carpet...still had that brand new smell. It was comforting, it relaxed him...his mind wandering to when he'd first moved into the apartment. Seemed so long ago, he had Anya then and everything made sense...well as much as it was going to. He hadn't spent a lot of time recently at the apartment, it was nice to be home, surrounded in the familiar...the safe.

He gasped...mouth dropping open at the shock.

In an instant he was sent crashing back into the present.

A present where Spike had just leaned over and stroked his cool tongue over his bare skin.

Sending an involuntary shiver coursing down his spine, body tensed...his hair felt like it was standing on end.

Teeth soon followed the path where that tongue had only just abandoned.

A jolt of arousal zeroed in on every nerve and Xander fought to hold back any sounds that might give away the pleasure he felt.

Once Spike had thoroughly sought out any stray drops of blood...he rolled Xander back into his previous position. His tongue flickered out to moisten his top lip. Dilated pupils took in the banquet stretched out before him. A desperate whimper immediately drew his attention to Xander's face.

His eye's were screwed shut, the mantra in his brain refused to listen to his needs ' No, no, no, won't, can't, not right, block him out, keep him away...please' it begged.

Spike tilted his head, his eyes quickly lost their intensity.

Xander didn't want him here, that was clear.

Like that had ever stopped him from taking what he wanted before.

Was this any different?

Did Xander mean more to him, or was it simply a case of knowing too much about the kid? He certainly wasn't used to having this much information on someone he intended to shag. Truthfully it scared him, because there is this terrifying want, this agonizing desire that is so staggeringly right. He knows Xander feels it too, but unlike him...Xander is blocking him out. He's screaming with every rigid muscle in his body 'No'. That denial is stamped over Xander's warm honey skin in flashing block letters, and it kills him...but he can't violate what is not offered to him freely. Not this time.

Without a sound he gets to his feet, his hands clenched in a fist, crescent shaped marks bite into the fleshy part of his palm, he smells his own blood, but he doesn't look back... he mustn't touch what is not his to do so. 

The door clicks into place and a rush of air expels from Xander's throat...he whimpers, curling himself into a ball on the carpet.

Spike has indeed left the building.

Part Four

He could still smell the blood on his skin. Spike may have cleaned him of every physical trace, but the scent remained...it clung provocatively to him. Xander felt at once nauseated, not by the blood itself, but his reaction to everything that had happened tonight.

Why couldn't he cope with Spike on his own. When the others were around, he had always known just the right insult to hurl at the blonde. So how come he had cowered in the corner of his kitchen at a little rough play from the neutered vamp. Even now his arms wrapped around his bent knees, head tucked in towards his chest and Spike had left his apartment a good fifteen minutes ago at least.

A hard shudder trickled down his body at the memory of him. His flesh still held the indentations of those fingers that had gripped him so viciously. Xander tried to breathe deeply, to calm the thunder of his heart in his chest, but all he got was carpet fibres in his nose and a violent need to sneeze.